Life update

I was reading everyone else's blogs and is it just me or does our family just like to blog about health problems.  :)

Life is moving at a very brisk pace for us.  Heidi's birthday was yesterday and we took it easy.   I felt bad but I had to hold an open house for a house I am trying to sell for a friend at work.  I also took another friend to go look at a house in Stone Oak.  Noone showed up at the Open house except for their neighbor and the neighbor's Mom.  

We are off tomorrow and have a full slate of things we would like to get done.  I need to add some bamboo flooring below the tv.  We had another leak in our house in the same spot from either the solar panel people or the roofers.  Neither one is taking responsibility but luckily the roofers fixed all around the area on the roof and they would lift up the carpet which was wet and replace the padding if it was moldy.  

We brought our car into a repair shop for the sixth time to get the smell out.  At the time that we bought it back from USAA we paid $2,500 for it and $2,000 in repairs.  We only repaired it because they said they would get the smell out and after the 6th time they still hadn't....so I think we are going to wait till December and drive it to my parents to sell in Spring, where there arent' as many hail-damaged cars.  Hopefully, we get between $4K to $4.5K out of it.  I thought about going after the owner and his promise but know the owner is an inactive member of the church and did his best to get out the smell, it isn't an avenue worth pursuing.  

The Elder's Quorum lesson was pretty insightful.  Think of our family in terms of emotional, spiritual, physical and educational needs.  I was thinking the bubble that keeps out evil things and helps us focus our family activities on Christ is a great thing not to be disparaged by those inside our outside of our faith.  

 

Relationship between Love and Healing

So I normally don't write on weekdays but I heard this really insightful segment on On-point about PTSD.  I approach this with caution knowing that this is a sensitive topic to some people close to us but I felt the commentators point was well taken.

The commentator mentioned several things but the core was based upon the fact that we as a society are starved for communion and closeness and as a result, this has an impact on the health of our society.

Case in point is the military.  1/2 of those returning back from active duty are diagnosed with PTSD; whereas very few within native american tribes who participated in other traumatic events such as killing at an early age  were diagnosed as such.  His hypothesis was the leaving of a brotherhood or comradery into a stressful situation with the need to find a job, to go to school, all alone heightens a condition that if left untreated often results in PTSD.  

In today's society we often live far away from family; we work away from family, we don't eat together, we spend a lot of time at the computer or TV and don't develop deep relationships. The stress of coping with life alone is too much for the human body.  Depression, PTSD, and other mental sickness certainly aren't caused by but feed upon loneliness and lack of love.  The opposite is true as well.  Depression and other sicknesses become less apparent as relationships are used as a healing balm to allow us to share, feel loved, appreciated and be healed.

Many times I hear faith connected with healing but I believe love is connected with healing as well.  After all, would Naaman be convinced by his servants to follow Elijah and dip in the river jordan 7 times, if he didn't love them?  Would the lame person have ever been carried and let down to the top of the roof if he didn't love his friends?  Would Jesus have ever gone through what he did as the only man who could do it alone if he didn't love us?

The scriptures say that God is love and that Christ came to bind up the broken heart. By holding a simple conversation with someone and showing compassion, understanding without judgment, we allow ourselves to be tools in the hands of the Lord to heal.

I think sometimes about the family unit and that it isn't given its true measurement of value.  The maintaining of family relationships is essential for our development primarily as it fosters the love all of us need to grow and heal.  After all, without love we are nothing.

Family Visits

Well, we had a good time this weekend having everyone over.  I took of Friday and went to the temple with Grandma, Janet and our parents.  We had a really spiritual time there.  Then, we had to hurry back to my pregnant wife watching all of the kids.  That was really nice of her to let me go.


We went to the Mexican restaurant down the street and ate outside only to have it rain on us.  I tried their spinach enchiladas and I have come to the conclusion that I simply don't like them in general. 


The next day we went kite flying at the church, which was fun for all of the kids.  The wind was so strong that you could just sit there and the wind would pick up the kite.  We brought the Barbie car and one of the gokarts our neighbors gave us and the kids had fun.


I was reading Jacob 5 yesterday and had a good discussion with Mom on the digging, fertilizing, and pruning.  The fertilizing is the reading scriptures, praying, and going to church and the temple.  The pruning is the removing of things that don't add any value towards your journey towards discipleship.  That is a personal thing.  The digging as Mom suggested is the killing of shallow roots, thus sparking a desire for your taproot and other central root system to grow more firmly. This comes as a result of living and experiencing heart-wrenching experiences, helping others go through their experiences, that solidifies your faith in Christ.


I went to church this morning only to realize that I wasn't feeling any better and probably couldn't make it through the final two hours of church.  So I went home and got a long nap, which I needed.  Heidi graciously watched the boys.  I felt really bad because yesterday, Heidi felt the same way but attributed her nausea to pregnancy, which now appears to be a stomach flu. She didn't ask to stay home but was clearly under the weather and slept a bit when we got home.  Sometimes I need to listen more to her needs and not just assume that anything she goes through is pregnancy and doesn't require my help.

Another Week

Well, we spent most of yesterday going through Heidi's old boxes and threw away quite a few things.  I feel bad throwing away lots of medicines but they were expired. 


This past week we started sitting down with Carter at night and reading for 15 minutes.  No longer was it difficult to get him to see his prayers.  He says them immediately because he knows a story is coming. I never thought reading with him at night was so exciting for him.  I was surprised when he first started that he already knew some basic words.  He is picking things up really fast and really good at memorizing.


The week before Heidi has given birth to each of our kids has always been difficult. Heidi has swelling feet, back pains, ice munchies, and numbness in her legs and arms.  She was experiencing numbness in her legs and arms and asked for a blessing.  I believe I had already massaged those parts without any luck. So I gave the blessing and said that the numbness would subside.  Soon after I started to see her shaking her legs again, a sign again that she was experiencing numbness.  So I had the prompting to rub the back of her legs and her ciatic area for a minute, which appeared afterwards to cure numbness for the time being.  I haven't really had a blessing like that but it reminded me of the Lord rubbing spittle in the blind man's eyes.  Whether or not it increased faith or the healing was in my hands when I did it, I am not sure but the result worked. When I heard the quote that Brigham Young when giving blessings expected to heal the person receiving the blessing that changed mindset in blessings.  Even though the real healing isn't in the words, the words themselves can increase faith.


I taught a lesson today in Elder's Quorum on Joseph Smith.  There wasn't a lot of new material really that I could tangent on or things I didn't already know about him but interesting enough, it didn't matter.  The questions asked were sufficient to reflect and apply the teachings to their lives.  In addition, I had the prompting to add on the chalkboard what great things the Lord had done through Joseph Smith as well as what sorrow and things he ended up giving up.  That prompted a good discussion about his character which helped whenever we talked about him as a prophet.  Somebody mentioned I should get the Truman Madsen Joseph Smith CDs for my ride to work.  Nobody already has those, do they?

Well,  I still can't write on anyone's blog but Mom's.  Most likely has to do with permissions. We received our first electric bill, which was $40.  It will be nice to see the impact of the solar panels once the summer rolls around.

I added weed n feed to the yard, watered it, put weed killer in the flower beds,  During the process we identified a carrot that was in the ground and a little bunny.  We have a whole bunch of lettuce growing, so Carter and Halley tried to unsuccessfully feed it.  After the carrot and the bunny, Halley came over to me and wanted to know if I had any more surprises.  I told her I didn't know if I did.

As I was thinking about it, I came to the realization that having a garden is spiritual in nature.  There are so many analogies to a garden and you can learn virtually every aspect about the Plan of Salvation from a garden. Here are a few.

1. What to plant- Certain things grow better in the type of soil than others; Certain teaching methods work better for helping our kids succeed such as through love and persuasion
2.  Carryover garden-  The lettuce seeds from last year and a few of the tomato plants kept growing/sprouted during winter.  Sometimes your efforts have a much larger impact than you realize.
3. Too much water-  Too much water can lead to growths on the tomatoes.  You have to balance the water with the sunlight as well as the type of plant for it to grow correctly.
4. If you don't water your yard on a consistent basis, then the grass dies and weeds grow.  It becomes much harder to take care of a yard on an inconsistent basis than if you do it regularly.
5. The harvest tastes good-  Except when I say that a cucumber is a squash, for the most part homegrown items simply taste better.
6. Miracle of planting.  That a seed can grow into a fruit-bearing plant is a miracle.  It is amazing that one tomato seed can produce hundreds of tomatoes. This is part of the Abrahamic covenant that his seed should be as the sand of the sea.

We brought our van into the dealership to get fixed before the extended warranty runs out.  We have gotten it on both cars and so far we have come out about even when we buy it.  We are hoping our cars last quite a bit longer such that we can pay cash next time we need to buy it.  

Observations

I have been thinking alot about a few things recently.  Elder Lawrence from the Seventy came to our church two weeks ago and spoke about a few things.  When I reread his talk from conference, which was "what lack I yet", the same impression of what I need to fix coincided with what my wife told me and what my boss told me... :)  I need to listen more intently and my wife adds, listen with the same energy as the person communicating....I need to speak kind words at all times, especially get to know and actively seek to develop relationships with those I meet...I need to more effectively give the background of the subject before I communicate the principle.  This could take years but I think with time and prayer and study I can be much more successful in my mission here in this life.

Heidi mentioned something that I thought was interesting.  She mentioned that one of the reasons that taking care of our children is so taxing is that they are high emotional.  This of course is one of the things I fell in love with Heidi, that she had a personality, and loved and served others.  Miles, Carter, and Halley are all emotionally demanding individuals.  Satisfying their needs often involves more than simply the physical needs but showing you care at their level.  Definitely draining but worth it whenever, you see that they care. 

Our solar panels are up on our house now and functioning.  For Valentines Day I purchased a $20 ice shaver for Heidi.  She said she usually goes through about 8 cups a day.  That's when you know ,your present was a success.  Apparently, people with low iron crave ice for some reason.  That is her. 

I have made the observation more than once that Mom and Dad didn't really invite people over to our house growing up except for choir practice.  I feel somewhat in that same pair of shoes.  We have a few of Heidi's friends that come over from time to time but really we are in survival mode a lot of the time.  Taking care of the kids and getting things done on our massive to do list really doesn't leave time for many things.

I have thought recently after looking at several pictures of us growing up why all of us kids turned out all right. Even though Mom had to make the bittersweet decision to go back to work, much can be said about what she did during those 14 years with kids before that happened.  You can say with all earnestness that our parents helped us keep the Sabbath Day to be holy, Mom helped us to pray, Dad showed love by playing music for us while going to sleep, dressing up for pioneer days, the family home evenings, the family prayers. Those are what held us together.  The spiritual connection that was created by the sealing covenant was strengthened by those spiritual activities such that we as children were able to develop a spiritual refinement at an early age that we could not forget or abandon.  Mom and Dad helped us to feel and appreciate the love of our Savior.  Thanks Mom and Dad.

Busy as a Bumblebee

6/7/2015

Well, I spent some more time trying to get more of the mold off of the back and front of the house with the bleach and the power washer.  Some of the mold from previous rainy seasons buried underneath the dirt and an additional layer of mold won't come off.  A friend from church is going to loan me he high-powered PSI power washer that might be able to get it off....that and I am going to rearrange a few of my hoses so that the non-leaky hose is in the front.

We played frisbee golf on Thursday instead of Ultimate frisbee on Thursday and had a good time.  Grandma invited me over a few times for dinner, which was nice.  Her meatloaf she made for dinner today was tasty. Too bad Dad wasn't here to finish off the leftovers.  I think Carol was going to finish them off tomorrow.

This weekend we ended up getting together to do some cleanup work along the San Marcos river.  Some of the apts. there had quite a bit of mold spreading up almost 4 ft high from the flooding.  We worked about 7 hours each knocking down drywall.  It was quite the workout.  I rode up with the Stake President who went on and on about the Slaugh family and all they had done for the Stake.  Then he started to talk about Susan and the Messiah.  All I could do is smile.  Susan has done a good job with her family.

I am going to protest the value of my home on Wednesday using my Bishop's Bexar County property tax assessment. We have basically the same house, except his has a .4 acre lot with a 3 car garage and his property is assessed at 20K below mine.  We also have partial rooms added by the previous owner that weren't even included in the assessed value. Somehow mine shows as having gone up $32K in one year.  That is more the 10% max for homestead owners.

Heidi comes home either late Monday or on Tuesday.  Their family likes to drive at night-time, which makes me a little unnerved, but I get it.  If the kids are sleeping it does make for an easier trip....you just have to stay awake.

I bore my testimony today about family.  It was fitting since my family wasn't around.  I did have a few impressions.  One of which that I could and should reach out to old friend that I had a long the way and catch up with them.  A few of them resisted my friendship while they were going through hard times...maybe they are reading and willing to see an old friend.

The other impression was after hearing the following quote, which struck home, one because I myself had similar experiences.

Elder Joe J. Christensen said: “There are those who wake up every morning dreading to go to school, or even to a Church activity, because they worry about how they will be treated. You have the power to change their lives for the better. … The Lord is counting on you to be a builder and give them a lift. Think less of yourself and more about the power you have to assist others, even those within your own family”.

When I was in 5th grade I was beat up on the street behind me, which caused me think of myself as unimportant.  The bullier then rubbed it in my face while I was at school and even threw little acorns sometimes at Linda and I when we walked home.  I remember key figures who stood up for me along the way.  One was when the bullier again approached me in 7th grade in the bus line, only to be reprimanded severely by Tiffany.  The second was when I was acting dumb and said something I shouldn't to TJ and David Lee stood up for me, even though for whatever reason, we weren't close any more.

The same thing happened in choir in 8th grade.  My heart was so innocent, that I just sang the way I loved to sing.  That annoyed two boys who made it their job to threaten to beat me up.  They wanted me to admit that they were better at singing then I was.  I decided to stop trying in choir so they wouldn't make fun of me.  They took the fun out of singing.  So I dropped out of show choir and didn't sing in High School.

Unfortunately, I was on the other side too when there was someone in my high school band that was called gay.  I knew he wasn't gay but because I myself was made fun of my freshman year of band, resisted being his friend.  4 years later I saw him show up one time in our ward.  I eagerly reached out my hand to say hi, do you remember me?  Unfortunately, he didn't.  I felt really bad about that.

So many experiences that I just kept inside.  I didn't really feel comfortable with sharing them with anyone.  When meeting with a counselor a few times, I realized that Heidi wasn't the only one that had dealt with trauma, I had dealt with it myself, only my nature was to whenever I was confronted to shield myself off from everything and everyone because I felt unsafe.

Heidi has been through quite a bit as well; however, when we share our experiences, we tend to bond a little, knowing that having gone through all we did we came out imperfect, but alright.

One of my favorite songs growing up was I'll walk with you.  It kind of hits home sometimes.